Why I Did I Get Married? I am a member of the Happy Wives Club…

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This post is part of the Happy Wives Club Blog Tour which I am delighted to be a part of along with hundreds of inspiring bloggers. To learn more and join us, CLICK HERE!Ā 

HWClub_SqBlogButnAHello World,

So five months into a new marriage, I am hardly qualified to be a marriage expert…But I can happily tell you why I got married and why I love my husband. First of all, you must know I have always wanted to be married and although my parents have been happily married for over 40 years, I did not know how to create that reality in my own life. God had to bring me through various situations in order for me to be ready to accept the gift of my wonderful husband Robert into my life.

What are these various situations? Well, I had to date and kiss a few frogs before my prince was revealed. Okay, maybe that is unfair because all of them weren’t bad guys…but I will say this…I started off with a looong list of qualities and attributes that through trial and error were honed down to the absolute essentials. And in God’s infinite wisdom, God revealed some qualities and attributes I didn’t even know that I needed. One of my husband’s best qualities is his kindness coupled with his “man strength.” My husband is a tall and big guy and one would expect him to be tough because of his exterior. He also jokes that sometimes when he walks into a room, he feels like the “big black guy.” He is tough, but what people don’t expect is how kind he is. We’ve had a cold spell in the A for the last few days and my husband has been worried about a homeless man he befriended. He checked on him yesterday to make sure that he was okay, and he brings him food periodically.

I also love my husband’s demonstration of his faith. When I was dating, I had the hardest time meeting a Christian man that I didn’t think was a simp or just plain weird. Many Christian guys that I met over the years quoted so much scripture and had such a long list of things they didn’t do that I was like, you are too heavenly for any earthly good. I ended up dating some guys that weren’t Christians, and I hoped they would see the light so to speak. That didn’t work either. My husband is totally committed to God. He beats me out of the house to go to Sunday School and church on Sundays and considers God’s will in all of his decisions. But when we are not in church and around “good church folk,” we know how to kick it and have a good time.

Lastly, my husband is all in when it comes to supporting my dreams and has brought out the best in me. My favorite memory of my husband during our dating is when I called him crying. I was working on my first book, and the most important celebrity interview in the book looked like it wasn’t going to happen after all. My then boyfriend told me to call that person back and tell the person I absolutely had to have that interview. Although I was crying and trying to hide it, I called that person back and said what Robert told me to say. I think it was my tears (that I couldn’t really hide) that convinced that person to have pity on me and schedule the interview after all.

So these are a few of the reasons why I got married and love my husband. I married my husband because he is God’s choice for me, and we enrich each other’s lives. He makes me better, and I make him better. Now, as this is our first year of being married, we are experiencing some growing pains (I’m learning how to cook for a man and be somewhat neat – both works in progress šŸ™‚ ), but it’s all good…

Any thoughts?

Fawn Weaver, the founder of the Happy Wives Club wrote a book about the best marriage secrets the world has to offer. They say the book is like ā€œEat, Pray, Love meets The 5 Love Languages.ā€ I say the book is inspiring. You can grab a copy HERE.

Check out this video to see more about the book…

Mama Joyce Gets Us Straight…And Steps Back…And Keeps Stepping…(MY INTERVIEW)

Hello World, toddkandimamajoyce

I’m a reluctant “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” fan…By that, I mean I sometimes criticize myself for being among the legions of viewers in Atlanta and beyond that tune in each week to be a voyeur in the not-so-real world of Atlantan housewives…first off…some of them aren’t even wives…and secondly…some of the hullabaloo that the “housewives” cause from week to week are not truly representative of Atlanta…at least the Atlanta that I grew up in and live in today…But the show is so thoroughly entertaining that 8 p.m. every Sunday night I tune in to see the housewives’ high jinks and laugh while my husband comes into our bedroom periodically to scold me for watching…

mamajoyceHowever, this season has unearthed a storyline that seems to be real and maybe even valuable….Mama Joyce (Joyce Jones), the 64-year-old mother of Kandi Burruss, former Xscape songstress and current song-writing millionaire (among her many profitable business pursuits), CANNOT STAND Kandi’s fiance’ Todd Tucker, a production manager, and has demonstrated so – from starting a fight with Kandi’s friend and assistant Carmon Cambrice after accusing her of messing around with Todd and hanging around Kandi only to get her scraps – weave and otherwise to getting up in Todd’s face and telling him she’s watching him when Kandi leaves the room in another episode…it all makes for hilarious television, but beyond all of that, I think it demonstrates why many rich and not-so-rich single women sometimes find themselves with no man to marry…the expectations of their families and friends….

Mama Joyce’s main complaint about Todd is that he is not financially at the same level as Kandi and is therefore, potentially, an “opportunist.” I interviewed Mama Joyce on Friday and we discussed why she is wary of Todd and his relationship with her daughter, how she intends to address the situation going forward and dispel any misconceptions that fans may have after watching all of this play out in front of us…

On Why Mama Joyce Thinks She They Shouldn’t Have Met and Dated in the First Place:

I don’t know him. I just know he did work for Bravo. I don’t believe in mixing work with pleasure. And had I been Phaedra, I would have never introduced Kandi to one of the guys that work there, especially if he’s going to have to stop working. He could no longer work on the same show so he’s not working with them.

On What Her Generation of Women Expect From A Man:

I just feel at a certain age, a man should be at a certain level in their career. What he was doing for himself and his career was fine for him, but at Kandi’s status, I just feel like that was not for her…

On What Kandi Is Not Doing for Her:

A lot of people have it turned around. I’m not worried about Kandi’s money. I mean when it comes to me. A lot of people are saying Kandi takes care of me.Ā  I have always been able to take care of myself.

On What Was Misconstrued On The Show:

That part about my picture and all that, [Bravo] completely turned that around. I was not talking about my pictures. When you come from Kandi’s garage, the first thing you can see is a wall of pictures. It’s all pictures of Todd when he was a little boy. And when I walked in, I said, “Now, that’s a shame.” I call it the “wall of shame.” I said, “Why in the world would you have his pictures up right there when you first walk in, when you should have [her granddaughter] Riley’s pictures up from when she was a baby, all her school pictures and all that?” But see [Bravo] didn’t show that! And I said it!

They wouldn’t even show all these pictures of him when he was a little boy… I said the only picture you have of Riley and me is next the floorboard. It’s a picture of me with Riley when she was a baby…I said, “Now what you think Riley thinks when comes in every day from school and the first thing she looks at is pictures of Todd when he was a baby?”

On If She Enjoys Being Featured on RHOA:

I did up until up until this year.

On Her Decision To No Longer Be a Part of Kandi’s Relationship With Todd:

At this time, I have stepped back. I am no longer a part of the equation. I want Kandi to be happy because I love my daughter more than I love myself. I just want her to be happy. If he makes her happy, well then, that’s all that matters. But the main thing I just want people to know, I’m not concerned about myself, I’m just concerned about her and my granddaughter. I don’t want nobody to take advantage of her goodness. I don’t want nobody just to be with her just because of what she has. I want somebody to be with her because she is a good person and that they come in as partners and can build together…

On If Kandi & Todd Do Marry:

If they invite me [to the wedding], I will be there.

Final Words:

I pray and hope that I am wrong. God knows that I hope I am so wrong about him. And I will be the first person in the world to apologize. I will apologize on TV, I will apologize on the media, I will apologize to the world. I am wrong about this man. I am sorry, and he has my humble apology because he is a good man. He is doing what he is supposed to do, and I will eat crow!

Mama Joyce, and I spoke for about 30 minutes, and I was able to get to know her a bit beyond what has been seen recently…I hope she does take a step back because I think that if Kandi is making a mistake, it’s her mistake to make as an adult…And I told her so, and she agreed…

My question for you is: Do you think that if a woman has more money, degrees, influence, etc. than a man she shouldn’t marry him?

Any thoughts?

 

P.S. Thank you to the Tara Thomas Agency for scheduling the interview…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Looking Back: 2013 in Posts…

Hello World,

In just two days, we get to press the virtual reset button on our lives and begin anew…But before we plot our path into the future, it is always wise to see where we have traveled up until this point…One the ways that I reflect on my journey is to go through the posts on this blog month by month and consider the events of the year…so indulge me a bit as I highlight the best of After the Altar Call 2013….

2013 Emerging Writ E-Blast:Layout 1

January 2013I was one of two authors selected as an emerging writer for 2012 by Written Magazine!Ā Kim Green (author of ā€œHallucinationā€) and I read from our work as a part of Written Magazine’s ā€œWine & Wordsā€ at the historic Hammonds House Museum. It was a real blessing in more ways than one! In January 13, my beloved sorority celebrated its 100th birthday!

February 2013 – I recounted some of the the scandals that have shaken up the church, particularly the Atlanta church …From Bishop Eddie Long Accuser Centino Kemp To Release Tell-AllĀ Book to RHOA Kandi Burruss Releases Gospel Song ā€œStay Prayed Upā€ with Marvin SappĀ 

March 2013 – I revealed I am working on a novel in “The Next Big Thing…aka My Next Book in Progress…” I’m not quite finished with the rough draft, but my novel is shaping up to be a juicy page-turner (if I say so myself…at least prayerfully… šŸ™‚ )

April 2013 – By April, I was in full wedding planning mode and was stunned by the average cost of a wedding…An astounding $25,656, according to theweddingreport.com….so of course I wrote the post “The Wedding Industry Heist aka maybe I should go in the wedding planning business.”Ā  I was also saddened by the Boston Marathon bombing…Although I am a late bloomer to running, I have fallen in love with it and wrote “An Ode to Running (my tribute to the people affected by the Boston Marathon bombing…).”

May 2013President Obama becomes an honorary “Morehouse Man,” delivering the commencement address to the 2013 to the graduating class of Morehouse College! It was the first time that a sitting president has ever addressed a spring commencement in the state! I was blessed to be to cover the event…

Brand new Morehouse Man President Obama!

Brand new Morehouse Man President Obama!

June 2013 – I expressed my disappointment that a wedding vendor “jacked” $600 from me, but thankfully, with the Lord’s wisdom and guidance, I was able to get my money back!

treyvonskittlesJuly 2013 – The day after George Zimmerman was allowed to go free in spite of killing unarmed teenager Trayvon Martin, all I could do was be quiet and reflect in “Why the Trayvon Martin Murder Case Matters…Peace Be Still”…And while I am no psychologist, one has to wonder why George Zimmerman continues to get in trouble following the not-guilty verdict…Is his guilt prompting him to act out in ways that will get him locked up? I guess we will know in time…

wedding partyAugust 2013 – One of the best events in my life happened this month…I married my ace boon coon on August 10, and we traveled to Hawaii, the state of President Obama was born, for our honeymoon…Yep, it was the best month of the year…We also celebrated the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington where the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. delivered his impassioned and ultimately prophetic ā€œI Have A Dreamā€ speech. 164

September 2013I joined the 4-0 club this month…I still cannot believe I am 40 years old…I remember when I turned 13…but those days are gone now…Hello Middle Age…LOL…Sadly, 50 years ago this month, members of the Ku Klux Klan, planted a bomb at Sixteenth Street Baptist Church and killed four girls, Addie Mae Collins, 14; Denise McNair, 11; Carole Robertson, 14; and Cynthia Wesley, 14…

LolaBrownOctober 2013 – On Oct. 22, my friend and Delta line sister went home to be with the Lord…Although she is with her savior, the one who knows her and loves her best, and is now cancer-free, we miss her so…I had a dream about her last night…Please keep her family in your prayers…“The Light and the Life that was Lola…”

November 2013I was blessed to be able to speak to students at Milligan College and take a trip down memory lane with my parents who accompanied me on the trip…My father received one of his several degrees there in 1972, the year before I was born. In fact, when my parents arrived on Milligan’s campus they had just gotten married

The entrance of Milligan College...

The entrance of Milligan College…

months before in August 1971.

December 2013 – Every holiday season, it is hard not to lose ourselves in the Christmas commercialism, but thankfully, I am always able somehow to remind myself that Jesus is the real reason for the season in “Seven Scriptures to Remind Us that Jesus is the Real Reason for the Season…(Repost)” I also celebrated my first Christmas with the hubby…we are still working on figuring out to celebrate holidays with two families…

Our first Christmas together tree ornament...I know it's corny but...

Our first Christmas together tree ornament…I know it’s corny but…

 

 

Any thoughts?