The Giving Away of a Daughter – A Father’s Day Meditation…

Hello World,father

As you hopefully realize, today is Father’s Day! Last month, it seemed the world over celebrated their mothers for Mother’s Day with unabashed praise and adoration, but for many, Father’s Day is decidedly less shiny…If Mother’s Day is a sun high up in the sky, brilliant day. Father’s Day is a sun behind the clouds day, a day that could go either way…Maybe it’s because Father’s Day dredges up painful remembrances of fathers that did not live up expectations for some…(Hallmark has even created a Father’s Day card for black women 🙁 )Or maybe Father’s Day is not as shiny a day as Mother’s Day because although children are created by mothers and fathers, mothers literally bear a more tangible connection to their children…

Thankfully, I cherish my mother as much as I do my father…I have written about my father in “Color Him Father, Color Him Love (An oldie but goodie…)” and “Reflections on being a Preacher’s Daughter Without the Reality Show…” and now I have a new memory to share…As I was preparing to get married a year ago, I was not only aware that I was taking Robert’s hand to walk with him for the rest of our days, I was also keenly aware that I was letting go of the hand of the man that had loved me best…My Dear Ole Daddy :)…And it made me sad even in the midst of my joy…And I was nervous too…Although I had been living on my own for many years, I always felt that my Dad was watching out for me…While we did not expressly talk about all of this, I think he was processing his own set of feelings too…Sometimes I would catch him looking at me. And though his eyes were directed toward me, but they would be focused on something or maybe some place else…

dadandmeWhen it was time to actually plan the events of the reception, I waffled about asking him to dance with me at the reception…After all, this was the same man who showed up at one of my high school dances wearing his pajamas and a trench coat to drag me out of there…But my mom suggested I ask him anyway…I was surprised when he said, “yes.” Our Father-Daughter Dance was kind of awkward, but I think it illuminated what was going on in our hearts…I imagine it’s incredibly awkward to give a daughter away after you remember when your daughter was just a thought and then that thought became a tiny human being that you watched grow into a woman…And as much I looked forward to moving forward with Robert, it was awkward to realize another man would be the keeper of the treasure trove of my heart…

And although that transition is taking shape every day that passes by, I’m glad I’ve (or rather God) chosen a man that possesses the kindness of my father…My father makes the effort to be kind to all living creatures from animals to human beings…I remember when I was in fifth grade, I had a fluffy black dog named Buffy and she would follow my father and I as we walked to my bus stop each morning. One morning, after I was picked up from the bus stop, a car hit Buffy and she died. My father carried my bleeding, dead dog all the way from the bus stop down a hill to the back yard of our home where he buried her…I see that same kindness in my husband when I feel like I’m about to unleash hell with my mouth until I look at Robert…He doesn’t even have to say anything. With his eyes, he tells that he doesn’t want to fight…And nothing makes you feel more savage than picking a fight with someone who refuses to do so…

According to the June 12 The Atlantic article “Masters of Love,” research has demonstrated that “kindness (along with emotional stability) is the most important predictor of satisfaction and stability in a marriage. Kindness makes each partner feel cared for, understood, and validated—feel loved.” I’m so grateful that I have a kind father and now I have a kind husband…

Wedding planning for a woman, like no other event, forces you to reflect on the relationship you have or don’t have with your father…And now that I have planned a wedding, I’m drawn to wedding planning…I’ve been watching the wedding planning of Real Housewives of Atlanta star star Kandi Burruss to Todd Tucker…In last week’s episode, Kandi and her father discussed their troubled relationship which included him being absent from her life for a year at a time sometimes…Still, she asked her father, who is now a pastor and presumably a changed man, to officiate at her wedding…See the exchange below…

 

Tonight’s episode ( Bravo, 8 pm EST)  promises to be just as if not more dramatic as Mama Joyce, Kandi’s mother, has a showdown with Todd Tucker’s mom…You remember that I wrote about Mama Joyce and her now legendary disapproval of her fiance’ in “Mama Joyce Gets Us Straight…And Steps Back…And Keeps Stepping…(MY INTERVIEW).”

So to all of the fathers, I wish you “Happy Father’s Day.”

Any thoughts?

 

Meet Katanga Johnson: Missionary Journalist & Morehouse College 2013 Graduate…

Hello World, katangalaughingkids

Last year this month, I was blessed to cover President Barack Obama’s address to the 2013 graduating class of Morehouse College! It was the first time that a sitting president has ever addressed a spring commencement in the state!

As with any graduation, each graduate was cheered on by a group of supporters, whether family and or friends, and I spoke to many of the supporters as a part of my coverage. I interviewed Jermaine Watkins, who traveled from Nassau, Bahamas to witness his mentee Katanga Johnson graduate with an economics and philosophy degree. Watkins, who used to be one of Johnson’s pastors at Abundant Life Bible Church in Nassau, told me that Johnson planned to be a missionary journalist with Operation Mobilization.

As a journalist, I was intrigued because I had never heard of missionary journalism and may have considered this field as a career option had I been exposed to what seems like a revolutionary field. It’s amazing how God works because Johnson reached out to me about my coverage which enabled me to learn more about the field as I’m on his e-mail distribution list.

Since Johnson, who is from the Bahamas, has worked with Operation Mobilization in Ecuador for almost a year now, I thought it would interesting to find out more about his experiences as a missionary journalist. Below is my profile of Katanga Johnson, 23:

soapWhat is missionary journalism, and what inspired you to become a missionary journalist?

Missionary journalism takes, literally, the Biblical reference of Psalm 96:3, which exhorts believers to “declare His glory among the nations, His marvelous works among all the peoples”. This form of storytelling places emphasis on the marvelous works of Christ among the nations by sharing testimonies of missionaries and their ministry efforts.

For me, as storyteller, I am most alive when I can marry my faith, passion and calling into a daily exercise. Serving in missions affords me this opportunity and I see the face of God (my way of describing the ‘sound of the genuine’) in a very intentional way through missions.

What is Operation Mobilization, and tell me more about your involvement in this organization?  boys

I serve with Operation Mobilization (OM), an international, missions organization that works in over 110 countries, motivating and equipping people to share God’s love through evangelism, relief & development, church planting, justice, mentoring & discipleship.

In my role, I focus on the Andean Region of Latin America (Ecuador, Colombia, Venezuela, Peru and Bolivia) in sharing the testimonies of missionaries in these fields. While I reside on Ecuador, our efforts here support these Andean Region nations in various ways as we encourage people to pray, give and go toward missions intra-regionally, and abroad.

As a ministry concentration, I specifically raise awareness toward financial support of girls whom are survivors of human trafficking, like through Freedom Climb. My involvement in financial development seeks to ensure the sustainability of the ministry activity and my maintaining relationships with private and public donors helps the Dunamis ministry specifically at the moment. Upon more training, I will begin to impact more ministries. However, my heart resonates with the Dunamis ministry very strongly. See more on this ministry, known as Dunamis, here.

Thus far, I’ve been in service in Ecuador for 9 months. My commitment is being extended to another year, making it two years of service, total (until August 2015).

prayerWhat have been your most memorable experiences as a missionary journalist so far, and why?

My most memorable experience thus far has been the gradual transition from being a basic level Spanish speaker upon arrival, to now being an advanced conversational speaker.

Before entering this cross-cultural experience, I had very much confidence in my ability to communicate as a native English speaker, both in written and oral forms. But, after taking weeks to adjust to the language and dialect changes, I began to assume a position of a child once again- unable to clearly communicate my thoughts or desires without the aid of another. Now, after much study and practice, I’m much more effective in the language, with much room for growth.

What do you miss the most about living overseas rather than living in the United States or in your native Bahamas?

There’s not very much I miss about home or living in the United States, honestly. Now that I’m in Ecuador, which, as a member of the Global South (the collective nations of Africa, Central and Latin America and most of Asia) faces grave political, social, and economic upheaval, I am amazed at how the population here is home to an emerging market which will eventually offer immense hopes for economic growth, investment, and cultural contribution.

How did your Morehouse College (where he received a full scholarship) prepare you for your work?

Attending Morehouse College  was a vital decision for my existence as a man of color, with its very demanding measures of brotherhood, friendship and camaraderie. While I am proud to be one of 9 brothers (and 4 sisters) to a hard-working and loving family, my relation to the world has always demanded a much broader cultural experience that Morehouse provided at 17 when I left the isles of my Bahamas toward the clay hills of Atlanta, Ga.

Morehouse College made me a man of character and ideals, more than any other benefit. The quote of my most revered alumnus and brother, Dr. Howard Washington Thurman, Class of 1923, epitomizes my preparation at Morehouse: “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

Below is a video in which Johnson describes his work with Freedom Climb…

To contact and or support Johnson: katanga.johnson@om.org
Skype: katanga.johnson

Any thoughts?

 

Pray for Sherri Shepherd…

Hello World,

Me and Sherri :)

Me and Sherri 🙂

By now, many of you have heard the latest news about one of my favorite Christian celebrities Sherri Shepherd….She is going through a divorce…

While I don’t profess to know her, I have met her twice – once at ABC News’  “Nightline” debate “Why Can’t a Successful Black Woman Find a Man?” in 2010 and again just last month when Sherri debuted her new wig line LUXHAIR NOW. As a result of meeting her at the debate, she agreed to be interviewed for my first book “After the Altar Call: The Sisters’ Guide to Developing a Personal Relationship With God.” I believe that her story in my book is one of the reasons why I scored a book deal in 2010…

When I saw her just last month, she seemed to be as positive, upbeat and friendly as she has always been…She gave no indication of the private turmoil she may have been experiencing…And that’s the key: privacy…Her pending divorce is a private matter…Now, let me not be hypocritical…As a self-pronounced pop culture expert and celebrity aficionado, I love to dish and dice the latest and most provocative pop culture and celebrity stories…But since I feel have a personal connection with this celebrity (although most minute I know), I have elected to take the stance of her friend Niecy Nash who was asked her opinion about Sherri’s struggles…Take a look at her brief interview with Hip Hollywood below…

Any thoughts?