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Preparing for Valentine’s Day 2016 or 7 Ways to Spot a Noncommital Man…

Hello World, tiffany

Yesterday, I celebrated my second Valentine’s Day as a married woman. I can’t front. It was wonderful and peaceful. I got up early yesterday morning as I usually do and headed downstairs to get ready to go the gym and what was waiting for me on our living room table? The telltale robin egg blue box from Tiffany & Co. I slid down on my knees to get to the box and opened it to see the beautiful necklace to the right in addition to a basket of smell-goods and a heartfelt card that made me feel all gooey and grateful inside…After I squealed and ran upstairs to wake up my hubby and thank him, I shared this on Facebook…

A wonderful, handsome Christian husband is gift enough but a gift from Tiffany’s is nice too. I’m so cheap I’ve never even been inside the store and now I have my second piece from there. Makes up for all of the v-days I was into noncommittal dudes. Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone!!! ‪#‎testimony‬

It’s true…For most of my Valentine’s Days, I was the girl hoping, wishing and praying that I was the one that could change him and make him commit…I don’t profess to be a relationship expert by trade, but if experience is the best teacher, chile I got a Ph.D….If there is anything I know how to do is spot a noncommittal man…Even though I technically don’t need this skill anymore since I’m married,  I still want to have it to help my single sisters in the struggle..(and the truth of the matter is I will always feel like a single girl…at least in some ways…) So below are my 7 Ways to Spot a Noncommittal Man…

1.Look in the mirror…If you have dated at least three men that you wanted to commit to you but they managed to get away no matter what you did or didn’t do, said or or didn’t say, wore or didn’t wear and on and on, you have to recognize that you probably don’t want to commit or else you wouldn’t like these type of men …Yes, it’s that deep…Now once you have that realization, there is more work to do although I won’t share that here today as its not the point of today’s post…

2. Believe what he tells you…If a man tells you up front that he just wants to hang out, kick it, chill etc. because he recently got out of a relationship or whatever the reason, please thank God in heaven because that’s all you need to know…Please do not believe you are the woman that will make him change his mind…It took me a long time to realize that I’m just not that special…Yes, I know you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Praise God), but Boo Boo, every man is not meant to be the one for you…that’s why it’s the one…If he tells you that, it’s on to the next one…

3. You don’t know his friends…If you have been dating a man for at least six months and you haven’t met nary one of his boys, that’s because your “relationship” is a secret…LOL…When you meet a man’s friends, you’re meeting an extension of him, and a noncommittal man aine’ trying to do all that…

4. You don’t know his mama…If you are dating a man for at least a year, and you haven’t met his mama or anyone else in his family, chances are you never will…A man that wants to commit to you has no problems bringing you to the family cookout or to the family church that his family has been attending for generations…

5. If he is 40 years old and over and has never been married and has no kids…I know a man who is over 4o years old and has no ex-wives or baby mamas looks like a catch, but if he has gotten to that stage in life and those milestones haven’t happened, it is because he has orchestrated his life in such a way to avoid them…I wonder why…Hmmm….No need to figure it out, just keep it movin’.

6. If you don’t see him very much…I’m a person who relishes being busy (probably to my detriment, but that’s another post) and when I was single, I was extra busy…And with all of my busyness, I assumed that whoever I was dating was like me…busy…so I made excuses if I didn’t see the man I wanted to see every weekend…but when someone really wants to see you, I don’t care what he has going on, he will make time for you…

7. If his primary mode of communicating with you is texting…I don’t know what noncommittal men did before texting but noncommittal men love to text…They don’t even have to hear your voice to ask you out…How insulting is that? If a man can’t even commit to hearing your voice, then obviously he can’t commit to you…

By no means is this list exhaustive, but this is my experience…do with it what you will…

And the quicker you get noncommittal men out of your life, the higher your chances of meeting a man who will celebrate next year’s Valentine’s Day with you 🙂

Any thoughts?

 

 

 

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Breaking Down the Holy Spirit/Why Beyoncé Did Ledisi A Favor…

Hello World,

Like the rest of the Innanet, I watched as Beyoncé, swaddled in her flowing, white organza, bejeweled dress with muted makeup to match, belt out her rendition of “Take My Hand, Precious Lord” on the GRAMMYs Sunday night.  Backed up by the Harlem Boys To Men Choir(tee hee), who also wore white, she hit all of the right notes and gestured with all of the appropriate movements, but when she was done…

Meh. I was still sitting on my bed, head scarf on and sleep at the corners of my eyes, with my remote beside me just like I was before she started….Translation: I wasn’t taken to church. Had she not been singing “Take My Hand, Precious Lord,” I wouldn’t have even thought about church. As one of my FB friends aptly noted: “All those dramatics and no spirit.” Chile…And more proof that God just don’t like ugly. (Back story: In some sort of secret coup, Beyoncé usurped Ledisi’s chance to sing the song at this year’s GRAMMYs although Ledisi was the one that portrayed Mahalia Jackson and sang “Precious Lord” in the recently released movie “Selma.”)

So since this is a religious blog, I decided to break down or introduce the Holy Spirit for those who don’t know Him…First of all, the Holy Spirit, is one of the three parts of God. There is God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the invisible presence God who enables us to know or perceive things that we could not know or perceive without His presence…Below are a few Bible verses that describe Him…

All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them. Acts 2:4

 But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. John 14:26

“You stiff-necked people! Your hearts and ears are still uncircumcised. You are just like your ancestors: You always resist the Holy Spirit! Acts 7:51

In today’s terms…

The Holy Spirit is the One that lets you know, in some sort of mysterious way, that even while the doctor is giving you bad news, you will be healed…Hallelujah, Thank You Jesus!

The Holy Spirit is the One that lets you know that after you have fasted and prayed, that what you prayed and fasted for, is already done in Heaven although it hasn’t been manifested on earth yet…Hallelujah, Thank You Jesus!

The Holy Spirit is the One that will have you crying like somebody slapped you when you hear your favorite gospel song on the radio, swearing the artist got in your head and is singing your testimony for all the world to hear…Hallelujah, Thank You Jesus!

And that was the problem with Beyoncé’s rendition…”Take My Hand, Precious Lord” is Thomas Dorsey’s testimony…He wrote that song after the death of his wife in childbirth and their child days later…Reportedly, it was Dr. King’s favorite song, and he loved to hear Mahalia Jackson sing it…Now, I don’t want to say that Beyoncé’ is not saved nor has the Holy Spirit, but from where I sat in my bedroom, the Holy Spirit bypassed her performance…That’s why aine nobody listenin’ to Rihanna, Lady Gaga and all of the popular girls in the music industry when you going through…You got to go to Shirley Caesar, Yolanda Adams and other great women of gospel music when you need to hear from the Lord…The Holy Spirit has blessed their songs to bless us in our time of need…Below is Ledisi’s version of “Take My Hand, Precious Lord.” The video is just her voice…You don’t even have to see her face to feel the Spirit…

Now since Beyoncé’s performance on Sunday, she released a video about why she sang the song instead of Ledisi. Something about connecting to her father, ancestors, the struggle etc. Bye Beyoncé…That could be true of Ledisi or any black person in America for that matter as well…It was her moment to shine…That’s why the late Etta James was mad at you…God rest her soul…You performed her signature song that nobody but nobody could sing like her for the Obamas’ first dance at the inauguration in 2009. Admittedly, you portrayed Etta in the movie “Cadillac Records” sooo…see, and that’s why Ledisi should have performed on Sunday. She portrayed Mahalia Jackson in “Selma” not you…

But God has a way of making things that seem bad end up being all good…This year’s GRAMMYs was one of the lowest rated in its history…But for the Beyoncé backlash, no one would probably be talking about it that much. But since Beyoncé is one of the biggest stars (I’m a fan…sometimes…) in the world, even people that didn’t watch the show are now wondering why Beyoncé did what she did…and inadvertently being introduced to the luscious vocals of Ledisi…

Any thoughts?

 

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Nikki Giovanni Comes to Southern Illinois University & More Black History Month Events…

Hello World, nikki

As it is February, I have to pay homage to Black History Month and the wonderful contributions that black people have made to America and beyond…Below are several Black History Month Activities you may want to check out…

1. Longtime poet, writer, commentator, activist and educator Nikki Giovanni will present “Human by the Grace of God: A View of Diversity” at 7 p.m. on Feb. 19 in Shryock Auditorium at Southern Illinois University Carbondale in Illinois. For more information, go to news.siu.edu. – Actually, this event has been cancelled as today, 2/12/2015…

2. Radio host and activist Joe Madison will be the guest speaker today, Feb. 8, at 2:30 p.m. when Bethlehem Baptist Church in Fredericksburg, VA celebrates Black History Month. Madison is the former director of the Detroit branch of the NAACP. He was appointed to that post at the age of 24. For more information, go to fredericksburg.com.

3. On Feb. 22 at 10:15 a.m., Rose of Sharon Missionary Baptist Church in Odessa, Texas will host “Showcase of Black Authors” with a presentation and book signing featuring Elaine Hunt, the author of “Dreams Fulfilled.” For more information, go to oaoa.com.

4. Centerville Community Center is hosting a story telling event about African-American heroes from 6 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. Friday, Feb. 27 at 3025 Bethany Church Road in Snellville, Georgia. There will be fun and interactive activities for children to increase their learning about African-American heroes. For more information, go to patch.com.

5. Richmond County Sheriff Richard Roundtree will speak at Macedonia Missionary Baptist Church in Martinez, Georgia on Sunday, Feb. 22.  at 11 a.m. For more information, go augusta.com.

6. Rev. Charles Lucas will tell how his “great-great-grandfather secured his freedom from Squire Lukas (His family also has his ancestor’s freedom papers!) and walked from Virginia to Ohio to launch a family on a mission” during his presentation “Lucas Legacy and Cleveland Black History: 1852 to 2015,” at St. James A.M.E. Church in Cleveland Ohio on Feb. 22. 12:30 p.m. For more information, go cleveland.com.

7. “Black Historic Churches of Lynchburg and Surrounding Counties,” a photography exhibit by Welford Jones, opens with a reception from 5 to 8 p.m. Feb. 13 and remains up through April 30 at Hunton Randolph Community Center in Lynchburg, Virginia. For more information, go newsadvance.com.

Any thoughts?