Mama Joyce Gets Us Straight…And Steps Back…And Keeps Stepping…(MY INTERVIEW)

Hello World, toddkandimamajoyce

I’m a reluctant “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” fan…By that, I mean I sometimes criticize myself for being among the legions of viewers in Atlanta and beyond that tune in each week to be a voyeur in the not-so-real world of Atlantan housewives…first off…some of them aren’t even wives…and secondly…some of the hullabaloo that the “housewives” cause from week to week are not truly representative of Atlanta…at least the Atlanta that I grew up in and live in today…But the show is so thoroughly entertaining that 8 p.m. every Sunday night I tune in to see the housewives’ high jinks and laugh while my husband comes into our bedroom periodically to scold me for watching…

mamajoyceHowever, this season has unearthed a storyline that seems to be real and maybe even valuable….Mama Joyce (Joyce Jones), the 64-year-old mother of Kandi Burruss, former Xscape songstress and current song-writing millionaire (among her many profitable business pursuits), CANNOT STAND Kandi’s fiance’ Todd Tucker, a production manager, and has demonstrated so – from starting a fight with Kandi’s friend and assistant Carmon Cambrice after accusing her of messing around with Todd and hanging around Kandi only to get her scraps – weave and otherwise to getting up in Todd’s face and telling him she’s watching him when Kandi leaves the room in another episode…it all makes for hilarious television, but beyond all of that, I think it demonstrates why many rich and not-so-rich single women sometimes find themselves with no man to marry…the expectations of their families and friends….

Mama Joyce’s main complaint about Todd is that he is not financially at the same level as Kandi and is therefore, potentially, an “opportunist.” I interviewed Mama Joyce on Friday and we discussed why she is wary of Todd and his relationship with her daughter, how she intends to address the situation going forward and dispel any misconceptions that fans may have after watching all of this play out in front of us…

On Why Mama Joyce Thinks She They Shouldn’t Have Met and Dated in the First Place:

I don’t know him. I just know he did work for Bravo. I don’t believe in mixing work with pleasure. And had I been Phaedra, I would have never introduced Kandi to one of the guys that work there, especially if he’s going to have to stop working. He could no longer work on the same show so he’s not working with them.

On What Her Generation of Women Expect From A Man:

I just feel at a certain age, a man should be at a certain level in their career. What he was doing for himself and his career was fine for him, but at Kandi’s status, I just feel like that was not for her…

On What Kandi Is Not Doing for Her:

A lot of people have it turned around. I’m not worried about Kandi’s money. I mean when it comes to me. A lot of people are saying Kandi takes care of me.  I have always been able to take care of myself.

On What Was Misconstrued On The Show:

That part about my picture and all that, [Bravo] completely turned that around. I was not talking about my pictures. When you come from Kandi’s garage, the first thing you can see is a wall of pictures. It’s all pictures of Todd when he was a little boy. And when I walked in, I said, “Now, that’s a shame.” I call it the “wall of shame.” I said, “Why in the world would you have his pictures up right there when you first walk in, when you should have [her granddaughter] Riley’s pictures up from when she was a baby, all her school pictures and all that?” But see [Bravo] didn’t show that! And I said it!

They wouldn’t even show all these pictures of him when he was a little boy… I said the only picture you have of Riley and me is next the floorboard. It’s a picture of me with Riley when she was a baby…I said, “Now what you think Riley thinks when comes in every day from school and the first thing she looks at is pictures of Todd when he was a baby?”

On If She Enjoys Being Featured on RHOA:

I did up until up until this year.

On Her Decision To No Longer Be a Part of Kandi’s Relationship With Todd:

At this time, I have stepped back. I am no longer a part of the equation. I want Kandi to be happy because I love my daughter more than I love myself. I just want her to be happy. If he makes her happy, well then, that’s all that matters. But the main thing I just want people to know, I’m not concerned about myself, I’m just concerned about her and my granddaughter. I don’t want nobody to take advantage of her goodness. I don’t want nobody just to be with her just because of what she has. I want somebody to be with her because she is a good person and that they come in as partners and can build together…

On If Kandi & Todd Do Marry:

If they invite me [to the wedding], I will be there.

Final Words:

I pray and hope that I am wrong. God knows that I hope I am so wrong about him. And I will be the first person in the world to apologize. I will apologize on TV, I will apologize on the media, I will apologize to the world. I am wrong about this man. I am sorry, and he has my humble apology because he is a good man. He is doing what he is supposed to do, and I will eat crow!

Mama Joyce, and I spoke for about 30 minutes, and I was able to get to know her a bit beyond what has been seen recently…I hope she does take a step back because I think that if Kandi is making a mistake, it’s her mistake to make as an adult…And I told her so, and she agreed…

My question for you is: Do you think that if a woman has more money, degrees, influence, etc. than a man she shouldn’t marry him?

Any thoughts?

 

P.S. Thank you to the Tara Thomas Agency for scheduling the interview…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Looking Back: 2013 in Posts…

Hello World,

In just two days, we get to press the virtual reset button on our lives and begin anew…But before we plot our path into the future, it is always wise to see where we have traveled up until this point…One the ways that I reflect on my journey is to go through the posts on this blog month by month and consider the events of the year…so indulge me a bit as I highlight the best of After the Altar Call 2013….

2013 Emerging Writ E-Blast:Layout 1

January 2013I was one of two authors selected as an emerging writer for 2012 by Written MagazineKim Green (author of “Hallucination”) and I read from our work as a part of Written Magazine’s “Wine & Words” at the historic Hammonds House Museum. It was a real blessing in more ways than one! In January 13, my beloved sorority celebrated its 100th birthday!

February 2013 – I recounted some of the the scandals that have shaken up the church, particularly the Atlanta church …From Bishop Eddie Long Accuser Centino Kemp To Release Tell-All Book to RHOA Kandi Burruss Releases Gospel Song “Stay Prayed Up” with Marvin Sapp 

March 2013 – I revealed I am working on a novel in “The Next Big Thing…aka My Next Book in Progress…” I’m not quite finished with the rough draft, but my novel is shaping up to be a juicy page-turner (if I say so myself…at least prayerfully… 🙂 )

April 2013 – By April, I was in full wedding planning mode and was stunned by the average cost of a wedding…An astounding $25,656, according to theweddingreport.com….so of course I wrote the post “The Wedding Industry Heist aka maybe I should go in the wedding planning business.”  I was also saddened by the Boston Marathon bombing…Although I am a late bloomer to running, I have fallen in love with it and wrote “An Ode to Running (my tribute to the people affected by the Boston Marathon bombing…).”

May 2013President Obama becomes an honorary “Morehouse Man,” delivering the commencement address to the 2013 to the graduating class of Morehouse College! It was the first time that a sitting president has ever addressed a spring commencement in the state! I was blessed to be to cover the event…

Brand new Morehouse Man President Obama!

Brand new Morehouse Man President Obama!

June 2013 – I expressed my disappointment that a wedding vendor “jacked” $600 from me, but thankfully, with the Lord’s wisdom and guidance, I was able to get my money back!

treyvonskittlesJuly 2013 – The day after George Zimmerman was allowed to go free in spite of killing unarmed teenager Trayvon Martin, all I could do was be quiet and reflect in “Why the Trayvon Martin Murder Case Matters…Peace Be Still”…And while I am no psychologist, one has to wonder why George Zimmerman continues to get in trouble following the not-guilty verdict…Is his guilt prompting him to act out in ways that will get him locked up? I guess we will know in time…

wedding partyAugust 2013 – One of the best events in my life happened this month…I married my ace boon coon on August 10, and we traveled to Hawaii, the state of President Obama was born, for our honeymoon…Yep, it was the best month of the year…We also celebrated the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington where the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. delivered his impassioned and ultimately prophetic “I Have A Dream” speech. 164

September 2013I joined the 4-0 club this month…I still cannot believe I am 40 years old…I remember when I turned 13…but those days are gone now…Hello Middle Age…LOL…Sadly, 50 years ago this month, members of the Ku Klux Klan, planted a bomb at Sixteenth Street Baptist Church and killed four girls, Addie Mae Collins, 14; Denise McNair, 11; Carole Robertson, 14; and Cynthia Wesley, 14…

LolaBrownOctober 2013 – On Oct. 22, my friend and Delta line sister went home to be with the Lord…Although she is with her savior, the one who knows her and loves her best, and is now cancer-free, we miss her so…I had a dream about her last night…Please keep her family in your prayers…“The Light and the Life that was Lola…”

November 2013I was blessed to be able to speak to students at Milligan College and take a trip down memory lane with my parents who accompanied me on the trip…My father received one of his several degrees there in 1972, the year before I was born. In fact, when my parents arrived on Milligan’s campus they had just gotten married

The entrance of Milligan College...

The entrance of Milligan College…

months before in August 1971.

December 2013 – Every holiday season, it is hard not to lose ourselves in the Christmas commercialism, but thankfully, I am always able somehow to remind myself that Jesus is the real reason for the season in “Seven Scriptures to Remind Us that Jesus is the Real Reason for the Season…(Repost)” I also celebrated my first Christmas with the hubby…we are still working on figuring out to celebrate holidays with two families…

Our first Christmas together tree ornament...I know it's corny but...

Our first Christmas together tree ornament…I know it’s corny but…

 

 

Any thoughts?

 

 

 

 

Three The White Way – Why Three of the Black Male Actors in ‘The Best Man Holiday’ Married White Women…

Hello World, 

The ’90s were the golden age of black cinema…Let me hit you with just a few — “House Party” (1990) “Boyz in the Hood” (1991), “New Jack City” (1991), “Juice” (1992), “Menace to Society” (1993),”Jason’s Lyric” (1993) “Friday” (1995), “Above the Rim” (1995), “Waiting to Exhale” (1995), “Love Jones” (1997) and “The Best Man” in 1999…Although during the ’90s, I was a poor high school and college student and later a brand new journalist, a considerable portion of my non-existent budget was spent seeing these pop culture classics…

I think that’s why so many of us who came of age in this golden age of black cinema bombarded the box office last weekend, making “The Best Man Holiday,” the sequel to “The Best Man” rank second during its opening weekend, earning just over $30 million to the surprise of Hollywood…When we met Harper, Jordan, Lance, Julian, Quentin, Robin, Mia, Shelby and Candy in 1999, many of us where right where they were…We were recent college graduates and newly minted professionals…Many of us were getting married or watching our boys and girls from college days become other people’s husbands and wives…I identified the most with Jordan…I was more excited about nurturing a career than nurturing relationships and was often shocked when I watched my male buddies that I once had in abundance get married…

So when I started hearing the rumblings about a sequel to “The Best Man” a couple of years ago, I knew I would be among the first seeing just what happened to these beloved characters over the years…And my high expectations were exceeded! Dare I say “The Best Man Holiday” was better than the original! And like, that never happens! Can you name any other sequel that was better than the original?! I can’t. At least right now. Let me know if I’m wrong. These characters became even more rich with time, wisdom, hilarity and — tragedy. As in real life, when you are young, you live in a bubble in which life makes sense and your parents are always there to nurse your boo boos. After you’ve been an adult for a while, you realize that life, while beautiful, is less than sensible and some hurts never truly heal…I won’t spoil the movie because I still want others to see it…But I now consider it a classic…A definite must-see…

However, in spite of this movie’s brilliance, there have been unfortunate efforts to diminish this movie’s shine…And I just don’t get it…but I will write about it…We’ve all heard about USA Today and it’s “race-themed” commentary on the movie’s success..Also, the next day after I saw the movie last Saturday, I saw a Facebook post by one of my friends in which he noted that three of the four lead actors in the movie have been or are married to white women…As if to say, that the black on black love that we saw in the movie was just movie magic, hardly a depiction of real life…Okay, so you know what I’m talking about – Taye Diggs, who plays Harper, is married to Idina Menzel, who is white. Harold Perrineau who plays Julian, is married to Brittany Perrineau, who is white. Terrance Howard, who plays Quentin, has been married to white women…So what, I say?!! I didn’t watch a movie about Taye Diggs, Harold Perrineau and Terrance Howard! I’m watched a movie about Harper, Julian and Quentin….And yes, in real life, some black men marry white women, but I will not fall for the okey doke and not speak well of the movie because some of its actors didn’t marry women that look like me…And furthermore, there is nothing wrong with interracial relationships…So they married outside of the black race, but they didn’t marry outside of the human race!!!

And now let me address the Taye Diggs issue…Over the years, I have read that Taye Diggs has an issue with black women…I don’t know if this is true or not as I’ve never spoken to the man, but I am aware of the rumor…And yesterday, I read an article someone posted on Facebook about how Taye Diggs was happy to get back to his white wife after being with all of those black women on the set of “The Best Man Holiday.” And now, I’ve seen Facebook posts in which people declared they will no longer support Taye Diggs nor the movie. Maybe it’s because I’m a journalist that I know that first you have to consider the source…I have seen no mention of this statement from any reputable news outlet. Secondly, seeing a movie is not a sweeping endorsement of the every single life choice or belief of every actor in a movie. Thirdly, while I am no conspiracy theorist, I do believe there are forces at work that try to tear down legitimate successes…just who released this supposed story about Taye Diggs and why? Just something to ponder…

If you want to see a great movie with multidimensional characters that manage to touch every emotion on the spectrum, see “The Best Man Holiday.” And for those who want to get into Black Power arguments, have several seats (at the movies) at “12 Years a Slave,” which is the proper forum for this kind of conversation…

In sum, support.black.cinema.

Any thoughts?

P.S. Just a snippet of the fine black men in the movie…